It has been awhile to say the least! About two years to be exact. Here lately I've had the urge to write; nothing grammatically correct, or profound for that matter. Grad school beat that out of me; so grammar Nazis & language elitist beware! I miss just letting my thought/ideas flow! in high school and early college I frequently wrote on my xanga site (Jinx36) It was early blogging! pre-facebook and myspace! Who remembers those?? Really I just want a record of our life right now, and to sort through all the thoughts that are running through my head! I'm usually the most wound up at night. All 3 of my boys are snoozing, and I'm wide awake, typical. So I thought now would be the perfect time to begin.
Where to begin....
Isn't he the most beautiful sight?!?!
Abram Heath Bevill entered our lives April 10, 2013 at 7:42 PM weighing 9lb 1oz & measuring 20.5".
As trite as it may be, life has completely changed! I have experienced great love. i love my family, friends, and Nicholas. I love my Lord. All of these loves are different and magnificent. But i was not prepared. My love for Abram is nothing short of spectacular! And loving Abram is brilliant, all consuming. Words seem so menial trying to describe it. When I saw that little head pop over the screen in the OR, it was truly love at first sight. (I will write a post about the events leading up to his birth at a later date). Needless to say, he is one of the biggest blessings God has granted me. My mom always told me that you never knew what love was until you had a child, or that you could love someone so deeply. I'm still in awe that God chose Nick and I to bless with such perfection. :) I could go on all night. I was definitely terrified about parenthood. But it has been wonderful/terrifying/hilarious/eventful to say the least! I will post about our experiences thus far in another post for times sake.
I started running again. Last year, I was obsessed with running. I started out training with some fabulous ladies to go to the inaugural MS Warrior Dash. In preparation we would enter local 5ks. Interestingly enough we became "weekend warriors" of the 5k realm. We would travel all over North MS running in charity 5ks and then we would go to breakfast! We consumed the calories we had just burnt off! But the camaraderie and conversation were worth every calorie! I gained some pretty wonderful friendships. I even got to share my pregnancy experience with one of those ladies. When I found out I was pregnant I was actually training for the St. Jude 1/2 marathon. I was running 5-6 miles a day. I wasn't fast, but I was steady. I could carry on a full conversation while running. I loved adding those miles up each week; it was exhilarating and satisfying to reach my goals. Then I found out I was pregnant. There is nothing wrong with running while pregnant. My OBGYN encouraged me to continue, and I did.....until I couldn't breathe! So Then I walked and eventually did prenatal yoga towards the end. Abram was huge; 9# pressing on your diaphragm makes walking even a chore, so forget running!! Coupled with pregnancy clumsiness, I halted the running. So now, 12 weeks post partum, I begin again. I had attempted to start after my 6 week check up, but then I started work and both Abram and I were sick, and then we had VBS. Needless to say, time has slipped by. I'm making it priority and writing it in my calendar. It won't be my life, but I feel led to take care of my body through clean diet & running again
What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's. (1 Corinthians 6:19, 20 KJV)
I know that sometimes people become obsessed with their appearance or make diet/exercise their idol. I just want to take care of this body God has given me; we only get one here on this earth. If we don't take care of it, who will?! It's especially important now that I have someone else depending on me and looking up to me.
I ran 3 miles tonight, SLOOOOOWLY, but surely. Training started tonight for the St. Jude 1/2 marathon (13.1 miles yall)!i signed up again! I had to take a couple of walking breaks, but once I got my breathing under control I sort of found my groove. It made me think a lot about today's sermon at church. Part of the text was:
And straightway he constrained his disciples to get into the ship, and to go to the other side before unto Bethsaida, while he sent away the people. And he saw them toiling in rowing; for the wind was contrary unto them: and about the fourth watch of the night he cometh unto them, walking upon the sea, and would have passed by them. But when they saw him walking upon the sea, they supposed it had been a spirit, and cried out: For they all saw him, and were troubled. And immediately he talked with them, and saith unto them, Be of good cheer: it is I; be not afraid. And he went up unto them into the ship; and the wind ceased: and they were sore amazed in themselves beyond measure, and wondered. (Mark 6:45, 48-51 KJV)
The deciples were afraid when the wind was "contrary" Or against them. They were having trouble rowing. But when Jesus spoke to them and got into the ship, the winds died down. How WONDERFUL Child of God!! He controlled and still controls the winds. He controls the "winds"/trials in our lives. Or in my case tonight, the lack thereof.Not keeping your breath under control while running is definitely a trial. I tried to push myself harder than I should. I started sprinting out of the gate, hitting paces of 10 minute miles. Now, for speedy seasoned runners, that's not anything to write home about. And in my prime, a year ago, it was a comfortable pace. But for me, 10-15# still over my pre-pregnancy weight, it was a problem. A BIG one. I began to feel nauseous and breathless. A little voice told me to slow it down. I began to think about the winds blowing against the disciples as they were trying to row and I compared it to me trying to break the sound barrier without enough oxygen. I don't know if this is making sense to anyone else, I'm sure it may be hard to follow. In my head, it does make perfect sense. You see, running to me is very spiritual. It used to be a time for me to pray, meditate on scripture, or just think about the sermons I had heard. Well today, I started out running, without looking to The Lord. I out my agenda first . I didn't get too far; just like the disciples rowing against the wind. When I slowed down, practiced my breath (in through my nose, out through my mouth) and focused on my favorite running verse Hebrews 12:1, I began to find my groove. The winds stopped when Jesus came aboard their ship. When I focused on Him and sought His plan, my proverbial wind (or lack thereof) ceased. We need only look to him and "be of good cheer." Jesus calms our winds, He is the master of the sea. Whatever I bring to Him, He can handle! He controls it!
Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. (1 Peter 5:7 KJV)
I used to feel like I shouldn't pray about my running. But I have come to realize we can learn from EVERY experience in our life. And we should, as Christians be able to use every part of our lives in our testimony!
Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, (Hebrews 12:1 KJV)
Tonight, I tried to run a race that was not for me. Running takes patience, just like our walk with Christ. We have to get rid of the things that hold us back. In our walk with Christ, its our sins. For me, tonight in my run, it was pride (a sin). I wanted so badly to just pick up where I left off. But it doesn't work like that. It takes patience and work and faith. Faith? You may wonder. Yes, for me, it takes faith. Just like in my walk with Christ. Faith that I with continue to train, faith that God will give me the endurance to continue through my run. In everything I do, I want to give God the glory, and running is no different. I want to take care of the vessel that houses His Holy Spirit. Without faith in Him, I would have NEVER been able to run 5-6 miles a day! God gave me those tiny victories! God gave me the ability. God gave me the determination. I want to get back to that place I was a year ago and go further and continue to give God the glory! With God's grace, I'm going to lay aside my pride and just patiently run/walk until I have built myself up to where I need to be.
Finally, I'm trying to change my eating habits. No fad diets and no magic potions, just clean eating. It's hard. Processed foods are convenient & cheap. I want to eat the things that God intended for us to use to fuel or bodies. I'm not 100% by any means yet, but I'm making small changes and I can already tell a big difference in my energy levels.
Alright, I think that's enough for tonight. Maybe I haven't totally confused anyone. :) Basically I just want to share my heart and what's on my mind!!
One last picture: